Wednesday 20 March 2013

Rules Of Engagement


This a culmination of what I've experienced and what I've observed over the years.

When it comes to casual dating & dating to settle down for marriage, two games spring to mind. Chess & checkers.

An analogy can be drawn between dating & the Chess vs Checkers argument with casual dating being checkers and courtship being chess.
While the two games have some similarities, the intricate nature of each gives them some distinct variations in style of play.

Firstly the games; Checkers is all about getting all you can get.The object of checkers is to be the last one with game pieces remaining on the board.A player wins by removing all of his opponent's pieces from the board or by blocking the opponent so that they do not have 
anymore moves.

Both games require a strategy that maximizes a player's ability to capture their opponents pieces without first losing their own.However, checkers is  a little more random and overall it's all about maximizing all that you can get.


While there are some similarities to its checker's counterpart, Chess distinguishes itself as a more intricate game on many levels.One mind is pitted against another in a game of strategy, foresight and tactical planning. 
While checkers is primarily played in the moment, chess requires a complex strategy that is often won by thinking ahead.Unlike checkers,in order to win you need to put the opponent's king in a position where it cannot escape (checkmate), or is captured.

We could say checkers is a game for the thrill whereas chess is a thinking man's game.

From a dating perspective,Women start with checkers to see what they can get, then move to Chess to see what they can keep (checkmate).In their late teens & early twenties women date casually for the thrill of youth.The objective is to bag as many high rollers as possible (Checkers).


They don't look for stability or direction, they just want to revel in the spirit of youth.


Not to say there's  anything wrong with this as their male contemporaries are probably drowning in debauchery.


During these years it's the players and older men with money to burn (some of them married) that get the most attention.Their male contemporaries are still building their futures in school and surviving on pocket money so they are deemed inept.They basically don't have any thrill value.(Broke & immature)


Between 24 and 27 instinct kicks in and naturally women start to look for stability as they soon realise that the high rolling guys who just wanted to have fun aren't really husband material .
You can never really tie down a high roller plus some were even married and just playing them as side chicks.

The law of the jungle comes to play where only the fittest survive.The easiest prey hence becomes their male contemporaries who haven't really got a whiff of life as a high roller.They are fresh out of college and are only starting to build their careers. Vulnerability & inexperience  makes them easy prey.


With few responsibilities and increasing income the young men are perfect targets for cuffing .


I'm not discounting the existence of true love but knowing that a leopard can never change it's spots,all the years of debauchery never really subside.On the surface you see a lady but most times she may be playing  the thinking game of chess for a mate.

Chess being a game of strategy means you have to constantly hide your intentions, sacrifice a few pieces and think a few moves ahead of your opponent so you can mate them.


These are sacrifices that are made in order to win the game not because you love your opponent but just to win.

The courtship turns into a ruse were the only objective is to get hitched.

One fact is that women will get married for all the wrong reasons besides love.As a man you've only succeeded when you've married someone because there is true love. Anything else is just a poor second best and is a recipe for a failed marriage.


Most people will tell you that their lives were much much better before they settled down to get married.These are the same people you find cheating, sneaking around clubs and fishing for diseases yet they have lovely wives at home.


So since you will be older much longer than you'll be young it's imperative that key decisions like  marriage do not plunge you into eternal misery.


A better chess player will generally be thinking throughout the course of a game. 


As a man be a Chess-master ..and be able to play both games simultaneously.That way you will effortlessly mirror a woman's modus-operandi as one would toy with a novice at chess, and of course, expose her as the unfaithful wife or girlfriend that she pretends not to be.Mirror her actions and always be a step ahead.

If she wants to be treated like a lady,she has to be one mentally and behaviorally.



Smart men will play checkers with one hand and Chess with the other.




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